Unraveling the Bias Tapestry: How Broken Systems Impact Women and Girls
Welcome to an edition of Playful Purpose, where I explore intriguing insights and shed light on concepts that often go unnoticed. In this series, I delve into biases, thought-provoking ideas, and emerging concepts that have been capturing my attention through social media feeds and algorithms (or maybe it’s the Universe trying to get me to pay attention). Today, I write about something that affects many of us, especially women and girls: the pressure to be perfect and the fear of being exposed as a fraud.
You know what I’m talking about, right? The feeling that you have to do everything right, or else you’ll be judged, criticised, or rejected. The feeling that you don’t belong in a certain space, or that you’re not qualified enough, or that you’re just lucky and someone will soon find out the truth. The feeling that you have to hide your flaws, your mistakes, your struggles, your doubts.
I’ve named this feeling — this voice — Beatrice. I’ve come to realise and accept she’s just trying to keep me safe and not make a fool of myself. To best manage her, I thank and acknowledge her for trying to protect me and step out my comfort zone. (Sometimes confidently, sometimes not). I also remind myself of the principles of improv of saying ‘yes and..’ and what can happen because of that practice.
These feelings are not new. They have been around for a long time, and they have a name (other than Beatrice): perfectionism and imposter syndrome. And they are not harmless. They can hold us back from pursuing our dreams, from taking risks, from learning new things, from expressing ourselves, from connecting with others, from being ourselves.
But where do these feelings come from? And how can we overcome them? Well, I’m glad you asked. Because I have threestories to share with you that will help us understand the roots of these feelings and the ways to break free from them.
Pockets of Sedition
Let’s start with a story about pockets. Yes, pockets. Those handy little things that we use to store our keys, our phones, our wallets, our snacks. But did you know that pockets were once forbidden for women? That’s right. For centuries, women’s clothing did not have pockets, or had very small and impractical ones. Why? Because pockets were seen as dangerous for women. They could be used to carry things that could threaten the status quo, such as books, money, or leaflets to spread sedition.
In fact, there is a poem by Sharon Owens called “Dangerous Coats” that captures this idea:
Isn’t that powerful? Pockets were seen as a symbol of independence, of rebellion, of empowerment for women. And that was not acceptable for a patriarchal society that wanted to keep women in their place: dependent, obedient, submissive.
So what did women do? They found ways to create their own pockets. They sewed them inside their skirts or dresses, or attached them to their belts or waistbands. They made them hidden or detachable. They made them out of scraps or recycled materials. They made them big enough to fit their needs and desires.
And they used them. They used them to carry their personal belongings, their valuables, their secrets. They used them to smuggle goods, to exchange messages, to organise movements. They used them to assert their agency, their identity, their voice.
Pockets were not just pockets. They were pockets of sedition.
Brave vs Perfect
Now let’s move on to a story about bravery and perfectionism. This story is told by Reshma Saujani, the founder of Girls Who Code, an organisation that aims to increase the number of women in computer science and close the gender gap in technology.
In her TED Talk “Teach girls bravery, not perfection”, Saujani shares her personal journey of overcoming her fear of failure and taking risks in her career. She also shares her observations of how girls and boys are socialised differently when it comes to learning how to code.
She says:
Most girls are taught to avoid risk and failure. We’re taught to smile pretty, play it safe, get all A’s.
Boys, on the other hand, are taught to play rough, swing high, crawl to the top of the monkey bars and then just jump off headfirst.
And by the time they’re adults, whether they’re negotiating a raise or even asking someone out on a date, they’re habituated to take risk after risk. They’re rewarded for it.
It’s often said in Silicon Valley, no one even takes you seriously unless you’ve had two failed start-ups.
In other words, we’re raising our girls to be perfect, and we’re raising our boys to be brave.
Saujani argues that this difference in socialisation has profound consequences for women’s participation and representation in fields that require innovation, creativity, and problem-solving, such as STEM, politics, and entrepreneurship.
As stories go, six years ago, I experienced this perfection v. bravery conundrum. Living in San Francisco, I saw a role posted for the head of a corporate startup accelerator to work with entrepreneurs in Sydney, Australia. I reached out, spoke to the woman looking for her replacement and had a lovely chat. She was interested in me, but I was terrified as I didn’t have the ‘perfect’ resume or even experience as a founder. Thankfully, having recently read the HBR article: Why Women Don’t Apply For Jobs Unless They’re 100% Qualified. (Read: perfect) I saw my own reflection and realised I was playing by the wrong rules. Inspired and determined I stepped out of my comfort zone, embracing imperfection and fueled by bravery, I took a leap of faith. I got the job and while I’m no longer in that role, my muscle memory of bravery was stretched and strengthened.
Saujani proposes that we need to teach girls to be brave, not perfect. To embrace challenges, to learn from failures, to try new things, to take risks. To code, to create, to change the world.
Imposter Syndrome is a Scheme
Finally, let’s talk about a story about imposter syndrome and bicycle face. Yes, bicycle face. That’s a term that was used in the late 19th and early 20th centuries to describe a supposed medical condition that affected women who rode bicycles. According to some doctors and journalists of the time, bicycle face was characterised by symptoms such as flushed cheeks, strained eyes, clenched jaws, and an expression of exhaustion or anxiety. It was also said that bicycle face could become permanent if women rode too much or too fast.
Of course, bicycle face was not a real condition. It was a made-up one. It was a way to discourage women from riding bicycles, which were seen as a threat to the established order (remember pockets?). Bicycles gave women freedom, mobility, independence, and empowerment. They allowed women to travel, to work, to socialise, to protest. They challenged the norms of femininity, modesty, and domesticity.
In other words, bicycle face was a scheme. A scheme to keep women in their place: confined, restricted, submissive.
This story is told by Reshma Saujani in her commencement speech at Smith College in 2023. In this speech, she draws a parallel between bicycle face and imposter syndrome. (She also jokingly claims “bicycle face” was the precursor to “resting bitch face” — the speech is worth a watch!)
She explains that imposter syndrome is not a syndrome at all. It’s a scheme. A scheme that makes us doubt ourselves, our abilities, our achievements. A scheme that makes us feel like we don’t belong, like we’re not good enough, like we’re frauds. A scheme that makes us shrink ourselves, silence ourselves, sabotage ourselves.
She urges us to recognize imposter syndrome for what it is: a lie. A lie that we can reject, resist, and overcome. She urges us to reclaim our power, our confidence, our voice. She urges us to be ourselves: imperfect, brave, authentic.
She says:
So here’s what I want you to do:
The next time you feel like an imposter,
the next time you doubt yourself,
the next time you think you don’t belong,
I want you to remember bicycle face.
I want you to remember that it’s not you,
it’s them.
It’s the system.
It’s the scheme.
And I want you to pedal harder,
faster,
stronger.
I want you to pedal with joy,
with pride,
with purpose.
So there you have it. Three stories that illustrate how biased mindsets have created broken systems. These systems have a profound impact on how women and girls are perceived and prejudiced against. They are a result of unconscious biases formed from structures such as pockets of sedition, the dichotomy of perfectionism versus bravery, and the phenomenon of imposter syndrome and bicycle face.
But these stories also show us how we can challenge these mindsets and systems by creating our own pockets of sedition: spaces where we can express ourselves freely, where we can support each other fiercely, where we can celebrate each other loudly.
We can do this by teaching girls bravery, not perfection: by encouraging them to explore their interests and passions, by exposing them to role models and mentors who inspire them, by empowering them with skills and opportunities that enable them to make a difference.
We can do this by breaking free from imposter syndrome: by acknowledging our achievements and strengths, by seeking feedback and guidance from people who value us, by speaking up and sharing our ideas and opinions with confidence.
We can do this by being playful and purposeful: by finding joy and meaning in what we do, by having fun and being creative in how we do it, by making an impact and being generous in why we do it.
We can do this by being ourselves: imperfect, brave, authentic.
I leave you with this question and challenge: How do you recognise and challenge the biases and systems that affect you or others in your work habits or everyday encounters? Share an example of a time when you faced or witnessed perfectionism, imposter syndrome, or another form of discrimination, and how you dealt with it or learned from it.
This article was written with help from Bing and ChatGPT. Julie Trell was the human prompt engineer with the idea and who added commentary and colour.
